Posts Tagged weight gain
Article Worth Reading: “An Open Letter to Oprah”
Over the weekend, YogiClareBear shared an article from The Huffington Post with me that she thought might be a good fit for readers here on my blog. After reading it, I couldn’t agree more.
The article, called “An Open Letter to Oprah” is written by the director of the documentary, “America The Beautiful,” which explores our nation’s unhealthy obsession with beauty.
Take a peek at his plea to Oprah to stop the yo-yo dieting and end her public obsession with body image.
What is most interesting to me is that the director (and author) is a man. Not to play the sex card or anything, but usually we hear other females talking about weight issues and body image issues. And while men are certainly impacted as well, it was refreshing to hear a guy’s perspective. (more…)
8 comments April 20, 2009
Making Amends
This past weekend when I was home, I did a side-by-side comparison of a photo of me at my slimmest (summer 2005) hanging in a family collage in my bedroom and of a photo of me at the wedding in Oaxaca in my purple dress this past March.
The cuts of the dresses being nearly equal, I was shocked to see that, although the scale tells me I have gained about 15 lbs since my lightest … I didn’t look all that different and, in fact, my shoulders looked good and square and my face didn’t look terribly different, either (ok, full disclosure: much better make-up now 
I’m a BareMinerals freak!).
Don’t get me wrong; I know I’ve gained and I can see exactly where (more padding on my hips, a thicker/ less defined waist, my ribs don’t stick out as much as they used to –hello, perhaps they never should have!?) but all in all, I didn’t look that dramatically different. And that, dear readers, was a shock to me.
I’ve focused so much on the whole “Yes, I’ve gained!” that sometimes I wonder if the weight just distributed itself somehow. Tangibly, it’s on my body … but it doesn’t look as bad as I guess I envision. (more…)
21 comments April 16, 2009
Guest Post at Run4Change
Fellow blogger and blog reader Jason at Run4Change– who has lost an astounding amount of weight through running and Weight Watchers and has a blog devoted to healthy living — asked me to write a guest post for his blog. Check out “Weight Isn’t the Problem; It’s a Symptom of Something Else.” It’s based on Oprah’s trainer Bob Greene’s interview with Larry King earlier this week.
I welcome your input here or on his blog! (more…)
4 comments January 8, 2009
Making Mantras
I know I said I wouldn’t be back til the new year, but I have been feeling kind of blah and felt compelled to write tonight. So … here goes! Forgive the rambling; I’m all over the place right now.
This is what I want my mantra to be for 2009: “I am going to let it be.”
I say it all the time: how I need to do it, how half my anxiety would dissipate if I’d just act it and live it … but here’s the rub: anyone who knows me knows I don’t actually do it.
And — something Dr. G. has confirmed through our sessions — it’s like, as an anxious person, I’m hard-wired not to be able to just “let it be” … and I think that is what is standing in the way of getting back to a comfortable weight.
Fighting against my own nature, my own hard-wiring, instead of using it to my advantage. Wanting to be someone I’m not capable of being, instead of accepting the person I am, the hard-wiring I have.
I don’t mean to imply I’m not capable of getting back to a comfortable weight. But rather, I’m fighting myself and my hard-wiring, berating myself for not being able to “let it be,” when maybe I should be using my anxious nature to my advantage (i.e., tooting my own horn for being a good friend and partner, a disciplined and consicientious woman).
You remember that song, “More Than Words?” Well, right now I’ve been talking the talk but not walking the walk when it comes to acceptance; I’m not showing my body the love it deserves because deep down I don’t believe I deserve to “let it be” — not here; not at this weight. I’m not ready and maybe I never will be ready to “let it be.” In fact, trying so hard to loosen up my thoughts, to “let it be” — I’ve gained weight. Since September, all I’ve done is gained. Literally.
It’s a fact. And it’s not the usual couple pounds people moan about after the holidays; it’s been a steady gain all fall/winter, just like last fall/winter and the one before it.
I can see it in photos, in how my clothes fit (tighter than they should, though not so bad that I can’t wear them) and of course on the scale. (As if I needed that darn machine to confirm what I already know!)
And though I wish I could just accept it and not be bothered by it, I’m not happy about it; I don’t want to be ok with it. And I won’t settle for it because this is not my body’s happy weight, nor is it my happy weight. (more…)
10 comments December 30, 2008
The “O” Factor
There’s been a lot of discussion in the blogosphere about the controversial cover story in the new Oprah magazine, where she poses in her 200-lb body next to her former 160-lb body and refers to herself as a “fat cow.”
Steph at Back in Skinny Jeans shares her take (what she’d say to Oprah if she were Oprah’s BFF) here.
Weetabix at Elastic Waist shares her take (that Oprah needs to love herself as she is and shouldn’t think of herself as a failure) here.
Mark at Mark’s Daily Apple shares his take (that Oprah has been yo-yoing forever now and it’s clearly not about food and exercise; she’s been victimized by all her gurus, etc) here.
If you want to know my thoughts, I posted in the comments of both (as Melissa or Lissa10279) but I’m curious to hear what you think, too.
How about you? What do you think about Oprah’s cover and her desire to, once again, lose weight and get healthy?
14 comments December 10, 2008
Weight Loss 2.0
Joe's Jeans (Rocker cut) I have, but want in a darker wash, like this
Clothes-shopping this weekend was tough. Fun with my friends, of course, but though I found some cute tops, the extra weight (ok, inch) I’m carrying on my hips at the moment made it hard for me to be excited about trying on jeans; they didn’t lay right.
As luck would have it, the Joe’s jeans I really wanted, they didn’t have in the right color (though the size fit — they were too light; I am on the hunt for a darker pair).
Naturally, trying on unflattering clothes make me feel bad about my figure, even though rationally I know I shouldn’t be obsessed with my body or my weight.But hell, I’ve already admitted to you all here that I’ve not been loving how I feel in my own skin lately, vanity aside.
Sometimes these feelings just won’t go away. (more…)
17 comments November 23, 2008
Separating Rational & Irrational Thoughts
I had therapy last night and, as always, it was a great session with Dr. G.
Now I’m going every other week, and we’re building off each past experience every time we meet. I’m much more comfortable, and it’s awesome how she really “gets” me…and helps me “get” me, too.
Captain Obvious would say, “OK, but she is trained to do this, Melissa.” This much is true.
Still, I marvel at the thought of someone who can really help me see me for me, and accept me as I am, helping me to sort through my thoughts — even if they’re not about anxiety or eating issues — teaching me techniques I can use for the rest of my life.
One of the biggest things therapy has helped me do is separate rational and irrational thoughts. This requires thinking before speaking, something I’m not accustomed to doing.
That said, I’ve really been trying to think more before speaking … to make sure that my spoken (or written) thoughts are rational ones, to make sure I’m not putting demands on myself that are too high or unnatural.
This also means gauging my audience and thinking about them before speaking: be it at work, at a social function, amongst friends, or even here on my blog ….
Which, in a rather long-winded manner, brings me to today’s post about how I’ve been feeling about my body lately, an internal battle of sorts: accepting myself as I am, or struggling to re-lose these last 10 or so again. (more…)
23 comments November 14, 2008
Digesting and Reframing Scary Pregnancy Stats
Back in June when I began blogging, I divulged that pregnancy is something that I am excited for in the near future, but also fearing to some extent, given my past (and present) history with body image issues, weight struggles and disordered eating behaviors.
While we aren’t planning on starting a family in this very moment (my husband just began an MBA program at University of Michigan this fall, so ideally we’d like to wait a little longer), it’s been on my mind a lot more lately.
So when I came across this article, “Dieters Gain More Weight During Pregnancy” in the health section of the New York Times (coincidentally published on my birthday), I was immediately interested. (more…)
10 comments November 4, 2008
The Irony of it All
The irony of blogging about my disordered eating is that not only have I not lost weight, but I’ve in fact gained weight since I began all this in July.
In the grand scheme of things, I know a few pounds (i.e., the same I have gained/lost/gained over the past two years — nothing new) isn’t catastrophic; I can lose it with a couple weeks’ diligence.
I am proud that I haven’t chewed-and-spit in well over a month, and feel like I’m handling my anxiety pretty well. And while my midnight incidents still happen, it’s not an “every night” thing and I made it all weekend without needing my Get Out of Jail Free card. (more…)
Add comment October 21, 2008
Stop the Madness: Midnight Eating
So my other disordered eating behavior — which my therapist says isn’t actually disordered — is waking up at midnight and eating … even after a great, healthy food day … even after I’ve been satisfied.
It usually happens during my period, which is this week … and I’ve used up 90% of my WPAs between the hours of 1 and 3 a.m. this week. Not even joking.
And it wasn’t emotional eating either– I’d had a great day at work followed by a wonderful night with my husband that included a fab sweat session at the gym and awesome bonding when I got home. No troubles on these calm seas.
Hell, I even put a NO CHOICE sign on the fridge and my cabinet last night … but it didn’t stop me.
These night-time snacks (but no spitting — seven days strong!!) are totally sabatoging me in every way, yet when they’re happening, it’s as though I am out of control of my own body.
I know they are part of what is holding me back from my goal weight and happiness with my body. I hope to sleep through the night tonight …
How about you? Do you wake and eat? How do you stop? Locking the door hasn’t even helped me …
18 comments September 24, 2008
