Tales of a (Recovering) Disordered Eater

This weekend my husband and I went to a wedding in Cleveland with a bunch of friends.

We had a truly fabulous time (we laughed so much this weekend that our sides hurt!), and after we got home on Sunday afternoon, we decided to take advantage of the sunshine and warm-ish weather and get to work tending to the dandelions that sprouted up in the past week.

We worked as a team, him using the little digging gadget to get to the root of each ugly weed, and me trailing behind with a bag to collect the dead weeds.

Now, I admittedly don’t have a green thumb and have never really gotten into gardening. Even though my parents are both really into it and can usually be found on a weekend afternoon in the garden, I never joined them as a kid, and honestly don’t know much about it. (more…)

You know how sometimes they say what you want is right in front of you, and has been there all along?

Well, it hit me this week that I’m blessed and I’ve got everything I could want right now in life.

And instead of dwelling on something harmful, I’d rather focus on the good.

In spite of tough economic times and hardships all around, I feel seriously blessed.

I have a beautiful family, amazing friends, the most incredible husband, a house we own with a beautiful creek in the backyard (and a new stove coming next week!), a fantastic and fulfilling job and career in PR, a car I own, education/degrees that can never be taken away, travel experience I wouldn’t trade for anything, my health and fitness, and sometime in 2010, maybe even a little one (we’ll see!)

Things really are amazing, and they’re right in front of me. Why is it so hard for me to see it, when everyone else can?!

I wish I knew. Perfect Girl syndrome tends to rear its ugly head, but right here, right now, I’m shoving her away. There’s just no room for her at this table. (more…)

I’ve been doing a lot of introspection the past couple weeks. One of the drawbacks about putting your thoughts and feelings out there in the blogosphere is that not everyone will love what you have to say, all day, every day.

Shocker, right?!

Naturally, I know it comes with the territory; it’s a risk I have to take, both as a writer, and also as someone who is trying to overcome a challenge. I have to realize that when I broach touchy subjects (or any subject, really), some people will possibly be turned off by my words, and some people might feel annoyed, frustrated, or upset reading my words …

Likewise, I never know what will be a “good post” or an “eh post.” Some days I see zero comments (but 700 hits) and other days I get a ton of comments on a particular post, or follow-up e-mails.

Comments are good; they create a dialogue, which is one of my blog’s missions. Often your comments (positive or not) lead to another post, and I do that because I’m listening … observing … absorbing.

Deep down, I know change doesn’t emerge from stagnancy … and so I know in my heart that writing/blogging about the good, the bad, and the ugly has helped myself and others. And I do believe that without it, I might not be where I am today on this journey.

That said, whereas before I wrote my thoughts and feelings in a journal and no one but me could read them … now my thoughts are out there for the world to read. And that can be a daunting notion. (more…)

Like any savvy blogger, I check my blog’s stats each day. I like to know how people are finding my blog, where they’re coming from … and — most importantly — what they’re clicking on.

While it’s always nice to see comments, or to see how many hits a particular entry got … or didn’t get, which sometimes happens, too … the data point that interests me most is how many people are clicking on the HELP page each day.

As it turns out, at least 267 people have clicked on the help link since I added it in late November. That means a lot to me. (more…)

You might notice I’ve slightly altered the title of my blog from Coming Clean: Tales of a Disordered Eater (which was my “coming out” about being a disordered eater) to Tales of a (Recovering) Disordered Eater.

Why? Well, I’ve been blogging and in therapy since July, and it has been quite the experience for me, as you know. As time has gone on, I’ve focused much more on the recovery journey/process (with its requisite ups and downs) than anything else. And so if I’m going to be branded as a disordered eater (which I’m ok with) I’d prefer to be known as someone in recovery.

In other words, for anyone who finds me in a Google search — there’s hope.

So … If you have added me on your blogroll (thank you!) would you mind adding that little change? Thanks — I’d appreciate it a ton.

Sincerely,
Melissa