Posts Tagged Anxiety
Kids and “Bad” Food Anxiety?!
I found this recent New York Times article that piqued my interest, called, “What’s Eating Our Kids? Fears About ‘Bad’ Foods.”
I want my kids someday (when I have them) to have a healthy relationship with food. I want them to know fruits and veggies and whole grains and low-fat dairy are yummy, but I also don’t want them to freak out if someone offers them an ice cream cone. I want them to be able to enjoy the special treat without another kid (or mother) commenting.
I’m not a mom yet, but I still have an opinion on this: it’s one thing to encourage healthy eating habits (recently Michelle Obama’s been talking a lot about how her family find that balance between health and pleasure with respect to food), but it’s another thing to ban foods altogether — which can lead to binge eating behavior later in life or an unhealthy relationship with food (like I’ve experienced). (more…)
7 comments March 25, 2009
Chewing and Spitting & “The Bases”
You probably remember “the bases” from middle school and high school. You know: the locker-room gossip about how far someone would go sexually.
Well, I’m about to make a kind of crazy, provocative analogy that I truly hope won’t offend anyone, but it’s one that I’ve been thinking in my head for a long time now … and only now, do I feel comfortable enough to share it here with you, my readers.
One of the questions Dr. G. asked me (when I initially started therapy and we were talking about anxiety and my perfectionist tendencies) was how things are in the bedroom for me –am I able to “let go” and enjoy sex/intimacy.
I was kind of surprised, because I certainly wasn’t seeking therapy for marital problems or sexual problems of any kind.
But I guess when she heard so much about my tendencies to restrict certain foods at certain times, over-exercise, obsessive calorie-counting, negative body image etc., chewing and spitting — i.e., my tendency not handle such things in moderation — she was concerned perhaps those tendencies also flowed into my personal life (read as, sex life). (more…)
16 comments March 17, 2009
Slow. It. Down.
Lately I’ve felt as though I’ve been grasping for straws trying to get my life in order after a fall/early winter spent in much disarray.
I’ve noticed a correlation between body happiness and overall happiness/contentment/sense of order. Right now, I’m not in that body-love mode, and so my life feels “chaotic.”
Between my marriage, friendships/family, social life, work, blogging, the gym, and now my Lia Sophia business on the side as well as upcoming personal training sessions, I am going to have quite a bit on my plate — certainly not as much as my friends who are working moms, or those with a new baby, or my husband who is working full-time and getting his MBA part-time. But plenty to keep me occupied, and hopefully distracted from disordered eating behaviors/issues.
On the flipside, I asked for it, have made the strides to do something for me … and I am going to embrace it. (more…)
6 comments February 19, 2009
Busy Week of Firsts
This is going to be a busy week for me, and hopefully one of growth.
I have my first event to become a Lia Sophia consultant (tonight), my first training session (Tuesday) and my first Lia Sophia party I’ll be hosting (Thursday).
Then, as if that’s not enough excitement, next week, I’m going to New York for an uber-intensive, one-day professional development seminar for PR practitioners, sponsored by PR News and led by CommCore Consulting Group, one of the most well-known communications/crisis communications groups. (This is for work).
I have to admit, I’m a little nervous of all the things on the horizon, but I’m also excited, too. And for me, excitement — be it good or bad — usually leads to anxiety and, subsequently, stomach issues. Ugh. (more…)
2 comments February 16, 2009
Hunger + Exhaustion + Anxiety = Chew-and-Spit
Last night after work, I drove to the gym to get in a last workout for the week … and turned around.
I was seriously so proud of myself. It’s so very rare I do that (I can count twice in the past 6 months — both of which have been documented here)
But this week alone (my “week” goes Friday to Friday) I had burned an awesome 3300 calories in exercise (per my heart rate monitor — I usually aim for 2800-3000) and have been sticking to my SP range, never going above the max limit.
So I didn’t need the exercise, and knew a night off would probably be beneficial for my muscles. In addition to that, I was wiped out after a restless night’s sleep the previous night … and the biggest factor of all: I was genuinely hungry and knew a workout would only make me want to eat more later.
All of these factore led to the rational, calm, sane decision to take a night off.
I went home intending to just unwind with my husband, since this has been a stressful week for both of us and we hadn’t spent much time together.
But that was not to be, thanks to Mother Nature. (more…)
19 comments January 23, 2009
Cool, Calm & Collected
Sometimes it just takes a nudge to get us moving again towards a goal.
I remember that feeling of being paralyzed about mid-way through my senior year of college.
I didn’t have a job lined up for after graduation, I
knew my then-boyfriend (now husband) was moving overseas after graduation to fulfill his military obligation in his home country, and my friends were all making their plans to spread out around the country.
I felt alone, lost and uneasy–fairly natural for most co-eds about to be tossed into the “real world.” I wanted to stay in D.C. but my internship at U.S. News & World Report wasn’t going to last past May, and even if I stayed, where would I live if all my best friends were leaving?! (more…)
9 comments January 19, 2009
View from the “Couch”
So I’ve been seeing Dr. G (my therapist, for anyone who is new to my blog) since August.
At first it was weekly, and then in October we switched to bi-weekly for insurance reasons.
I didn’t know how long I’d need therapy for when I started; I was nervous and I had no clue if I’d even be receptive to it at all.
But it’s been a gift. It’s been helping me understand my innermost workings — how my anxious brain functions, and why it responds to stimuli like stress or anxiety or fear the way it does.
Though I haven’t stopped all my disordered eating behaviors cold turkey, I’m learning to manage them … to identify them and sometimes use them as a last resort — whereas before therapy, those behaviors were my visceral reactions.
The biggest thing I’d say I’ve come away with is a newfound awareness; of why I think the way I think; why I behave the way I behave.
She’s helped me reframe my disordered eating issues, which has in turn helped me reframe things in my personal and professional life.
Still, I was a bit surprised when, towards the end of our particularly lively session Thursday night, Dr. G. asked the loaded question — “Where would you like to take things next?” (more…)
14 comments January 16, 2009
A Bit of a Winter Rut … But Grateful for the Good
Therapy has helped me understand that many of my disordered eating issues stem from (or are manifestations of) anxiety.
In other words, even though I am not necessarily thinking of the current source of my anxiety at 2 a.m. in the kitchen, or in my car, or whenever/wherever … my subconscious has a way of getting in my brain and leaving its proverbial mark.
And for me, I take it out in one of two ways:
1) Over-exercising (pushing myself physically to distract my mind from what is really going on)
2) Emotional eating (as in, eating when not hungry; not a binge, but eating something to seek comfort instead of facing the problem — I’d count many, but not all, of my “midnight incidents” in this category).
Blog reader and friend Cathy shared this insanely relevant exercise she found via a Bob Greene/Oprah podcast. You lay out the following areas of your life and pick the ones that are harming you emotionally the most, and you explore ways to change them … or improve them if they can’t be changed. It’s a way to home in on what is stressing you, to dig deeper into the depths of anxiety. (more…)
15 comments January 15, 2009
Making Lemonade Out of Lemons
So it’s no secret that I’ve gained some weight this fall/winter; I’m about 5 from where I was last summer and about 10 from my comfortable weight.
I can see it in pictures, in the mirror … it’s there, and there’s no denying it.
So before 10 becomes 15, I would like to capitalize on my hardwiring as an anxious person and use that anxiousness to make lemonade out of lemons.
I’m still a loyal online WW member and have been since 2004 … which is even more perplexing as to how I’ve gained without going over my Points — the only culprit I can think of is the wrong choices within my points, since I am still working out the same and not even eating those APs I earn.
But I digress.
I’m not here to ressurect the past, only to look ahead to what can be done going forward. Last winter/spring, I lost about 7 lbs. by continuing on WW and also journaling on Sparkpeople.com, a free weight-loss jounaling site that actually shows you the nutritional breakdown of your foods in terms of calories, fat, fiber, carbs, etc.
Now, this summer I quit Sparkpeople cold turkey because I was journaling there, plus counting Points, plus keeping a spreadsheet that would make even an accountant cringe, it was that nitty-gritty.
It was obsessive to the extremes, and it just made me more fixated on food. (more…)
9 comments January 14, 2009
Midnight Munchies
My pledge to only eat when seated hasn’t been working.
I haven’t eaten in my car (save for chewing a piece of sugar-free gum) but every night for the past week (except for one night) I’ve woken and eaten … standing up.
As you know, this has been a problem I’ve been dealing with for over three years now, on and off.
My doctors have no explanation, my therapist doesn’t see it as a problem (and moreover, she wants me to not view it as a problem, either).
But I am sick and tired of not sleeping through the night. Of restless nights and stressed-out mornings because I “didn’t make it through the night.” (more…)
22 comments January 8, 2009
