Tales of a (Recovering) Disordered Eater

This past weekend when I was home, I did a side-by-side comparison of a photo of me at my slimmest (summer 2005) hanging in a family collage in my bedroom and of a photo of me at the wedding in Oaxaca in my purple dress this past March.

The cuts of the dresses being nearly equal, I was shocked to see that, although the scale tells me I have gained about 15 lbs since my lightest … I didn’t look all that different and, in fact, my shoulders looked good and square and my face didn’t look terribly different, either (ok, full disclosure: much better make-up now I’m a BareMinerals freak!).

Don’t get me wrong; I know I’ve gained and I can see exactly where (more padding on my hips, a thicker/ less defined waist, my ribs don’t stick out as much as they used to –hello, perhaps they never should have!?) but all in all, I didn’t look that dramatically different. And that, dear readers, was a shock to me.

I’ve focused so much on the whole “Yes, I’ve gained!” that sometimes I wonder if the weight just distributed itself somehow. Tangibly, it’s on my body … but it doesn’t look as bad as I guess I envision. (more…)