Living Authentically, Online & in Real Life
October 30, 2008
I had an epiphany yesterday: when I began blogging this past July, I was ready to dip my toes in the pool … but I was still afraid to go for a lengthy swim.
I was nervous about how I’d be perceived by friends and family as I shared my deepest thoughts and fears with the blogosphere. I wanted to remain semi-anonymous; just “a 20-something struggling with disordered eating issues.”
I didn’t expect to see 400-800 page views a day (and sometimes way, way more!). I was honestly writing for myself, and hoped there would be maybe a handful of readers that would find me online.
And find me, you have!
So while I identified myself as “Melissa” (which is, indeed, my name) and branded my blog by purchasing the domain name (which I’ll need to renew each year), I chose not to add my blog’s URL to my Facebook or Twitter pages. In fact, I didn’t even register my blog with Technorati — the biggest blog search engine!
Well … all of that changed yesterday.
In an e-mail exchange with Steph at Back in Skinny Jeans yesterday, she said something that totally hit home: “When you live authentically, the universe conspires with you.”
Wow. Talk about profound words. Though I took the first step blogging about my disordered eating issues and my journeys with therapy and blogotherapy … I still hadn’t been living 100% authentically.
I was still hiding in a way — like when I’d e-mail my blog’s URL to friends vs. putting it out there on my Facebook wall when asked.
And so last night, I added my blog’s URL to my Twitter and Facebook pages, and registered my blog with Technorati.
If I am really and truly all about “coming clean” and being myself, wholly me … I needed to own up to myself. This meant allowing my identity to be known — and not hiding behind the shroud any longer.
I’ve been blogging since July, five nights a week, without fail … it’s time. You — my loyal readers — have found me, which is awesome. And you keep coming back.
Other readers know me in real life and have followed my blog (thank you!), returning day after day.
But until yesterday, I hadn’t really put myself out there. I simply wasn’t ready for the big plunge, the true unveiling.
It’s so mind-boggling to my that in just five short months, I’ve guest blogged or been mentioned on three big sites — and many more of you have linked my blog to your blogrolls (thank you!).
I’ve made a ton of progress along the way, and I love knowing I’m helping some of you tackle similar issues. Together, we’re building a community and changing perceptions — two tenets of good public relations.
It’s like my work and personal life are melding together, and I couldn’t be prouder. I can be an advocate for women who understand these issues, and learn from all of you, as well. It’s win-win for all of us!
So here’s the scoop. If you’re on Twitter, you can follow me — my user name is Lissa10279. And as for Facebook — you can find me by my real name, Melissa Henriquez. I’d love to add you all to my networks.
The grand finale for my pledge to live authentically yesterday? I found out that a group of fit bloggers are going to be meeting up in Chicago next weekend, and I’m planning to join up for the meet-and-greet.
I’m ready to get out there and meet these fantastic, strong, brilliant women who are making a difference in this world. I want to be my most authentic self, online and in real life.
There’s no time like the present. And I’m ready to swim.
Thanks for being by my “side.” I appreciate your comments more than you know. Keep reading and let me know if there’s a topic you’d like to see tackled next!
How about you? How do you live authentically?
Entry Filed under: Mental Wellness, Progress. Tags: Back in Skinny Jeans, blogotherapy, Facebook, Lissa10279, live authentically, living authentically, Steph, Therapy, Twitter.
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1.
Pamela | October 30, 2008 at 2:10 am
I’m sure I can speak for several when I say that I adore your site and you seem like such a great person! I truly enjoy reading about your life and am glad that you have decided to share it with the world. Thank you for that! I’ve only shared mine with a few select friends, and there have even been a few times that I’ve regretted that - mostly when I find myself censoring what I might say, but I again have to thank you for reminding me of the power of living authentically. Have a beautiful day!
2.
Holly | October 30, 2008 at 8:16 am
I am with you…most of my friends/family don’t know about my blog, and I don’t really know why. They know of all my past issues with eating and exercise. But you are right….and in fact, I bet it feels liberating to live authentically. I hope one day soon I can be brave enough to share it with everyone!
I love reading your posts….you have such a great insight on things, and I particularly love how you ask questions. I used to be a teacher so I love the “audience participation.”
3.
Soly | October 30, 2008 at 9:31 am
I believe Paulo Coehlo said “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
The Alchemist ties into this discussion quiet nicely.
4.
Krystyna | October 30, 2008 at 9:33 am
I’m totally with you–none of my family or friends know that I have a blog. Most of them also don’t know that I’m in therapy to deal with my relationship with food…and I want to tell them but I think I’m just too embarassed….and I’m just not ready to tell them. I’m embarassed that I can’t handle food sometimes…and I just don’t think that many of them would understand. I want to tell them but I just don’t know how!
Love your blog every day!
5.
lissa10279 | October 30, 2008 at 9:40 am
I’m blushing, Pamela, thank you! We can do it — it’s part of being our own best PR people, too, when you think about it. Being transparent and open. I realize this comes at a risk … but the truth is, we’re only human.
Hi Holly — most of my close friends know about this, but not all — until recently. I just was nervous about sharing but the thing is, why not, it’s part of who we are. I am sure they’d appreciate reading what you have to say!! Then again, my bro and sis - with whom I am SUPERCLOSE - prefer to talk to me about this stuff vs read my blog (unless I ask them to read something) whereas other friends tell me, “Well, I read it on your blog, duh!” Thank you
I appreciate it. And I like asking questions, it helps me stay engaged with you and often your comments lead to another discussion or topic 
So true, Soly!!! I haven’t read the book yet (my husband has it in Spanish) but I will see about getting it in English. It’s a great quote.
Hi Krystyna, please please please — when you’re ready, share. I promise, it’s amazing the support you will find (I hope, I imagine!). I know I was ashamed too but it’s all about being true to ourselves and people more often than not, will be able to understand or at least empathize. Coming clean, admitting a problem and gaining strength from it is so empowering! My mom said to me last night, “Lis this is so you — to take a lemon and turn it into lemonade. You’ve done it all your life.” I nearly cried when she said that. It’s true
6.
Melissa | October 30, 2008 at 10:01 am
From one Melissa to another—HI!! I
‘ve been reading your blog for a couple of months. I think I followed you over from the WW boards where I like to hang out but only post on one particular thread.
Anyway, I just wanted to delurk and say how much I enjoy your honesty. I also have food issues (gawd, what woman doesn’t, it seems?) so I can nod my head with most of what you say.
I would love to blog but simply do not want any family/friends to read it and I know that would not be possible…so, I live vicariously through others.
Thanks!!
7.
lissa10279 | October 30, 2008 at 10:23 am
Oh thank you so much, Melissa!!! Yes, I think all women do to some extent!! Hey, it’s not for everyone — but if you give it a shot, it only has to be as public as you want it to be. If you never share the link, unless people Google you you won’t be there!
I googled myself … there’s a lot out there I’ve written, esp b/c of my screenname!
8.
cindy mcalpin | October 30, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Congratulations for stepping out and choosing to be and live authentically.
Your blog has it all, information, humor, sadness! Keep going!
Check out my blog on Eating disorders also:
http://www.hope4eds.wordpress.com
9.
lissa10279 | October 30, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Thanks, Cinday! I appreciate it and will take a peek at yours, too!
10.
Grounded Fitness | October 30, 2008 at 4:57 pm
i was scared to take the turn from recreational blogger to paid blogger because i knew i would have to network. my story is that I was bulimic and am now a personal trainer, which gives me a unique perspective that i need to share. however, i didnt know how my clients would react if they found out about my past. Turns out, they have all been supportive and feel they can relate to me more, now knowing that I have had weight troubles in the past.
Kelly Turner
http://www.groundedfitness.com
11.
less than three | October 30, 2008 at 8:02 pm
I live authentically with about one person… my friend with whom I share my blog. Together, we’re authentic and we know every detail. Beyond that? My struggles and trials are hidden from the world.
12.
lissa10279 | October 30, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Hi Kelly, thanks so much for posting and sharing your story. I am sure you’ve inspired so many women — and it sounds like your struggles actually make you a more “real” person to your clients. I admire that a ton!
Hi Less than Three — we all choose our own paths — it sounds like you are doing really well keeping your journey private, just shared with one friend. Best of luck!
13.
Stephanie Quilao | October 31, 2008 at 2:45 am
Soly is right on. You must read The Alchemist. One of my top 5 all time favorites. I’ve read almost all of Coehlo’s books and they are outstanding.
“I couldn’t be prouder”…That’s an awesome feeling!
14.
lissa10279 | October 31, 2008 at 8:13 am
Thanks Steph — I will get that next at the library!
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